When laughter is all you have

Months have gone by, summer is over and done with and the cold is seeping into my bones. Its time to pick up from where I left things last blog entry.

My partner thought I was getting a litlle bit too grumpy and said we need to please the empress by searching for new lovers to service my needs. And truly for a while now i have had some fun dates and here is a fun recap of all the contenders and summary of what fun we have been up to. Ready?

Do not know when exactly but the first BBC from last year who I thought I send straight to the exit sign, refuses to leave. Keeps sending me texts in Skype and I explained several times why he needs to forget about me. Turns out he is no BBC (big black cock) at all and has lied about something so profound like this, he is just a Dutch white dude and I suspect everything else he told me is a lie too. Finally he admitted it when I told him I was tired of the only one way videochat calls, and he needed to go away. In a last attempt he confessed about his color and wanted to videocall. The man looked like someone thats commited in a psych ward, or maybe mentally challenged. Here’s where I need to explain my fettish. I tend to have a soft spot for broken things, a challenge to get something thats really hard of out of reach, men that treat me badly, I want to find out why they behave this way and want to see deep inside their minds to figure out what motivates them to be these uncouth liars and cheaters. So I picked up this chatcontact again and tried to move it away from purgatory and into the light. I was wrong to try, it fell apart on more of his lies and my interest has taken the exit sign before him. Hopefully he is gone for good this time.

After a speeddate add by my partner a few nice men have contacted me and actually some have showed up. In order of (no)appearance are:

1. Boy wonder. 22 years of age, very experienced and performance was excellent. The dismount not flawless and I had to send him text to thank him for showing up and say I had a nice time, he texted back he had a nice time too and then exit, no more new words, one timer.

2. The Hef. Not because he lives in a mansion with horny blond hot babes and wears a housecoat all the time. Apparently its his nickname, not for obvious reasons. Great lover, we met twice, he can stay. Part of him wants to but the job is demanding and he’s too busy to hook up but luckily not too busy to stay in contact through whatsapp messaging.

3. Tallman. Huge huge man with good skills and attentiveness online. Looked good on paper, our first date had to be cancelled due to covid (he tested positive – drat) Does not live too far away so he swings by quite unexpectedly but the sex was very very enjoyable. Only life gets in the way and our second date had to be canceled as well and I foresee that him and his lovely cock will not come near my puss anytime soon. Exit lover number 3.

4. Otis. Somehow I suspect this is also his nickname but maybe it could be real. Contact started swift, intense, neglected all my hiring procedures when he showed me pictures of his body. Oh my and what a body. The date was a whirlwind of passion, the pictures turned out to be real only the circumstances not so much. Not single, younger then advertised. Says he is 26 I suspect more 22-23 years of age, but he did deliver and my door is still open to him. Holy Horny fuck.

5. The massage guy. Turned out to be living longer then 1 hour away so eventho we started out good and very horny, he did not even enter the road to take a drive to me, he did not even had to take the exit, he never got on and I never got off, so thats that. No massage for me.

6. The suit. I call him that not only to be discrete because I know his name. But here’s what I suspect because no true date has commenced so far. One date has been cancelled and he was nice enough to tell me ahead of time that he could not come because he had to take care of his daughter. Very ligitimate reason and sofar so not too bad. Only the chatting stopped, no rescheduling came forth and no answers to my texts. I have no need to beg and this scenario we are in is getting really old and so this one I am pushing into retirement myself. His work takes first place, then his family ofcourse, friends also and then there is no more room for me. No date will ever happen with this suiter I predict. Too bad because I was truly looking forward in to getting him into my bed.

7. Mister Northern exposure. I do not know why I thought this guy would be a good idea. Lives all the way up north and I have to explain he is from where I have spend my childhood and single young life, the city is called Groningen and I have bitter feelings thinking back of that place and I have no need to set foot there ever again I hope. I warned him no pussy is worth that drive, he was stubborn and he persisted. We started chatting intensively and I explained to him the ins and outs here in purgatory and if he was still willing and able and horny, sure let’s set a date and so we did, so I thought. Then he fell off the face of the earth and my textmessages did not come through because he had a case of cold feet I reckon. Anyway I was ready to let him take the exit, he was not. So we are in limbo.

8. Mister MD hotness. Yes he is a doctor in a hospital and he is hotter then McDreamy. He gives me a fever I have not encountered in quite a while now. I want him very much and I am trying to not lose this one too prematurely. I know his job will come in the way and sure this does not look good on paper. But fuck the paper, I need to fuck this one really bad and truly praying that he is for real and will be true to his word. Covid had other ideas and had messed up our first date appointment. This better not turn sour like all the others, double drat, damn and darnet.

Yes there is a 9 or maybe 10 or even more numbers but I am trying not to jinx it again. I asked the universe to send me my dreamlover and eventho they come in droves, still this is far from easy. I crave for a fuckbuddy, someone interested to stay around a bit longer. Who understands what this is all about. That I do not need to leave my partner in order to create this connection and have amazing sex. Eventho I always say that I am offering uncomplicated sex, the people make it so complicated. Its no rocket science, there is no hidden agenda. I am not playing any games and I even am clear in how to please me. Why the fuck is this so hard people. Now get on board or hop off. Its up to you.