All I can ever be to you
Is a darkness that we know
And this regret I got accustomed to
Once it was so right
When we were at our high
Waiting for you in the hotel at night
I knew I hadn’t met my match
But every moment we could snatch
I don’t know why I got so attached
It’s my responsibility
And you don’t owe nothing to me
But to walk away I have no capacity
He walks away
The sun goes down
He takes the day, but I’m grown
And in your way
In this blue shade
My tears dry on their own
I don’t understand
Why do I stress the man?
When there’s so many bigger things at hand
We coulda never had it all
We had to hit a wall
So this is inevitable withdrawal
Even if I stopped wanting you
A perspective pushes through
I’ll be some next man’s other woman soon
I cannot play myself again
I should just be my own best friend
Not fuck myself in the head with stupid men
He walks away
The sun goes down
He takes the day, but I’m grown
And in your way
In this blue shade
My tears dry on their own
So we are history
Your shadow covers me
The sky above ablaze
He walks away
The sun goes down
He takes the day, but I’m grown
And in your way
In this blue shade
My tears dry on their own
I wish I could say no regrets
And no emotional debts
‘Cause as we kissed goodbye, the sun sets
So we are history
The shadow covers me
The sky above, a blaze
Only lovers see
He walks away
The sun goes down
He takes the day, but I’m grown
And in your way
My blue shade
My tears dry on their own
Amy Winehouse
The inevitable withdrawal. That happens when you let someone in. And although we have no regrets it still hurts to let him go. I am passed the stage of tears, anger or disbelief. Its still a way from acceptance but it has landed. Yesterday I literally purged myself from all of it, never had to throw up this bad. Now on the other side, I feel steady, I survived. I can let him go, I will be ok.
So, another round of hiring a new lover has commenced. We have a few new potential lovers in the mix this time.
1) mister bright smile. 35. Largely build. Dominant and loves the nasty. Currently number one, not saying only. Big chance I am not the only one for him neither.
2) mister niceguy. 40. Lives closeby. Nice steady attention on the chat. Not too chatty, just right.
3) mister papi. 44. Will be a whirlwind of passion I expect. He is very artistic and a lot to handle. Very chatty and I believe a bit nuts in the head or his autocorrect is very very intrusive.
4) mister ninja. 44. Green eyes. Eager beaver on the chat. Bald and nice figure. Good cock sofar I can tell on his picture. Anyway he looks like a ninja thats why. Hope he doesn’t shy away like one.
5) mister rebound guy. 46. I desperately needed a quick horny fuck to forget my broken heart because it was shattered into tiny bits. He fucked me hard and for a few moments in time I felt desired. Think he is a one nighter.
6) the Red Viking. Part of a swingers couple, responded on our add on sdc. Big big guy, also mucho grande down below. Don’t mind me getting some of it.
7) the Don. Hello, sixpack muscle guy, wowie. Think he will be a hoot and a lot of fun. Not so much chatty online.
8) the Belgian. 20. Young one. Lives too far away obviously, don’t think this will work out oh well, wishfull thinking. Maybe we can have phonesex.
10) the Kickboxing instructor lookalike. Nice good looking young guy. In his twenties I think, don’t know the list is long. Send me a picture of his cock, nicely in proportion. Also does not live too far away. This might be a good contender.
So let me rephrase my wish, the universe got it wrong with the previous contender(s). I like a nice virile young lover, who is totally smitten with me, who sticks around longer, who can handle me, also his cock stays hard and longs for me just as much as I long for him. No relationship complications or exes or difficulties with children etc. Is respectful of the threeway relationship and is a lot of fun to be around with. Is someone like this out there? Does this one exist, perhaps not in purgatory. I see an exit sign glowing and in this darkness thats all I can see.
Sophielief 