We don’t all use the wellknown app 💬 called whatsapp but most of the chat apps are basically the same and I would like to chat about my thoughts about how these apps are used in the datingscene. How to hook up and conduct oneself while the goal is getting laid, as much as possible.
Honestly it is quite difficult to get inside a guys mind, I will try, not to be biased and womanly feely feely about it if possible. So bear with me for a while. Is it fair to assume a man would like to get laid as much as possible with as little fuss if possible? Stimulation of his cock and ultimately release with no strings attached and with as many willing partners that are out there, right? To be honest that is clearly my goal as well, so no judgement here. When you are horny you want to feed the beast and you do not want to think overly too much about it after the fact.
What I am wondering about is ones conduct before the actual fuck meet-up and the rules after it has taken place. I have a few questions about it and not much experience yet to give enough true information about it. I will share my honest opinion and its still a work in progress. How does your chat-conduct come into practise while the main goal is first and foremost hooking up, sexing eachother up before the fuckdate will take place and after it is done?
1) Sending the nude picture: do you start with flashing the goods right away? Personally I do not need to see the one eyed snake pic right away. Vids of masturbating is welcome but maybe a bit later in the seduction? Meanwhile do I send a picture of my lady bits between my legs early on, or only when requested? Do I risk offending the other person or will it be a turn on? Seduction via chat and online is quite different from RL situations. Are there any rules I wonder? I know from personal experience pictures sometimes are not comparable with how someone looks (and feels) in RL. Also how do you reply when receiving a nude picture. I will discuss this further later on.
2) lets talk about settings: and with this I mean the technical settings in whatsapp that gives information to your chat”friends”. Some people know how to use these settings, others don’t bother or mind whatsoever. You either care, or don’t, that other users and your friends can see at what time you were online or if you read your messages, because when its read the other person sees that through the grey markings that have turned into blue. When you type a reply and the other person is online, will see that you are online, typing…but what happens you don’t get a reply back? The other person clearly has been online, they did not make your message a priority (others were more important or work related) or the person simply thinks I’ll just reply later, or worse never reply at all. Sometimes there are people that have changed their settings so no one can see when they have been online and no one gets a reading confirmation other then a real reply. This is a red flag for me. It is my experience true communication with people who are deliberately disquising their online info in this way, do not want to be bothered with “nagging” questions why they do not reply to a text from you. How good the fuckdate might have been, its my experience that communication with these kind of people is difficult and too clouded so hooking up again will never take place. Being too busy is often the excuse. In my opinion its not the real reason because typing I am too busy to answer your text takes me literally just seconds. People just do not want to be honest and say you are not worth their time at the moment. They want to keep you on the hook and not throw you back in case they are horny in the future and have no one better on the line other then you.
3) when attraction is not mutual or sexually charged. What do you do when there is no spark? Do you discuss it or just stop chatting and move on to another conquest? These questions are hard to answer because I have chatted with many possible online lovers that texted a hi-bye-howyoudoin but dissapeared without any explanation or answer to my text asking how they are today. Sometimes your real life takes precedent to your dating life online, your unsuspecting wife and children should come first. But after weeks no text, I start to wonder if the other person has moved on and an actual fuckdate is off the table. I need to research this further so I might text deleted lovers again to find out the answer. From my own perspective…I usually stop messaging a man if there is no attraction or spark anymore? But that’s after the fuckfest has taken place. Its logical that when your interest has shifted you stop texting that person. If I chat with you its with hooking up in RL in mind and setting an actual date. Men that have fled the scene…before it can become flesh to flesh contact…whats that all about? Am I too much work and not worth the bother? And I have not even nagged about it to them personally because this is all in my mind and just put into words as I type. I have actually been honest about if and when there was no spark. It might be too honest though. A straightforward person can be intimidating. You can just tell me that you are not enough attracted to me. For everyone there is that right match. I am simply not that person for you.
4) Premature texting ending in dissapointment, is almost what premature ejaculation is for a sex hookup. In the beginning the man in question chats you up, giving most of his time online to get to “know” you and is attentive in his answers. After the hookup, the intimacy was apparently solely for the female, she has to literally receive his cock inside her, letting him inside her is really intimate. I don’t care if you are an unfeeling prick that is a just give me lust-kind-of-guy, sex is intimate and the woman has feelings. This might not be feelings of love, we are equiped to feel only lust, but it just feels weird when you have commited to the act, you are not worth more of his time anymore after the fact. In the beginning you are worth his attention and afterwards there are no more texts and hardly any reply. Is it weird that I would like to receive an honest reply if it was worth setting another date or is it a wham-bam-one time thing only? Can I ask beforehand or is that bad ettiquette? What are the rules here. I have to do more research.
5) replying to nude pics. The male organ is what it is. Some are straight, long, short, small, big, purple and throbbing, ejaculating, bending like a banana, brown, pink, foreskin or not. How do you reply after receiving nude pictures. Some are without a clear face, being discreet is necessary. Trust is something that is not easily created. You do not really know the person on the other side. Will he be discreet with what you send him or use for catfishing schemes and believe me I have been there. I have been love scammed a lot and it has changed my perspective with online dating. Every online contact can use your pictures how they want it and you can’t do a thing about it anyway. I have full face nudies and I do not care what you do with them because I do not feel any shame that I have nudes of myself. If it would bother me then I better not make these kind of pictures of myself. If I was ashamed of my lifestyle choices I should think that I better make changes to it, right? So people who are secretive or dishonest, then change the things you do have power over. I usually say you are handsome, sexy or yummy yum but only when I do mean it. Why disquise my true feelings? I usually know in two seconds if I am able to fuck a guy or not when looking at his face. Looking at just a penis…is more difficult. Its about how he uses his tool and attraction is fueled by how someone looks just as much as how someones personality comes across in his words…texting. Once I was totally seduced by only words, he was a poet so no brainer there.
6) fear of text-stalking. If you use whatsapp you give out your mobile number in order to text with eachother. Some have had bad experiences and it colours their opinion in further contacts in chat-land. This is just pure speculation on my part, but I guess, certain guys are afraid the woman will start text-stalking him after a sexdate. I never have had a man text-stalk me but I can imagine that is a problem. Can anyone win in this situation? The woman is obsessed with the man and keeps pestering him online. Not good and truly not something we want to experience. Personally I try to be not too clingy or obsessive when I truly like a guy. Try to find a good balance in texting, if the other does not text regularly, matching my responses to the person I chat with, letting them go when they turn silent. It is the only sign I know of that person is not interested in me anymore. When gone, they hardly return and therefor I don’t know if there was another reason they dissapeared. Sometimes I like them truly a lot and would feel truly bad that they are gone without a goodbye. I ask they will say goodbye when it is time to go, its all I can ask for. But most just turn silent and I will never know for sure if it was me.
I am going to do more research on this subject because I am truly interested in people their motives in cyber conduct and unwritten rules in conduct while chatting with men. I will try different techniques into hooking up and see what has more result. Do I use the direct approach and set a date to have sex asap? Don’t take the time to chat them up and get to know them? Do you expect to become friends and be interested in in their lives? Take the (chat) time to get more details, pictures, vids, sexchats to see if you are compattible? You don’t want to receive a total stranger in your puss right? Or should I aim for only such impersonal hookups? Do I give up on my wish to have a regular fuck buddy? How great would it be to have someone extra to have fun with that you can trust completely, be intimate with without condom because lets be honest, it feels so much better without. But in the swingerspurgatory it is totally not done to practise unsafe sex, not smart anyway. And let me be totally clear I do not practise unsafe sex eventho I find sex without condom more pleasurable, it does not mean I am stupid. Whenever you have multiple partners never, ever do without.
This game of seduction online is truly an enigma for me. Am I good at it? I don’t think so. Whats up with me? Whatsapp failure for sure. I need more pratice 🤔😅🙋🏽
Insert: boob picture here
In addition to my notes up here: note to self, never contact a former discarded lover out of insecurity looking for answers. That is not a wise decision and takes up quite some time and energy to clear up misunderstandings or misconceptions about ones character. Yes I am a slut, but I am not a filthy person or going for the easy thrill. I do not want short term contact, that is why I am trying to understand the reasoning of men. I like to know what makes them tick. What thrills them what excites them. What goes on in their minds. On a sexual level I want to understand how to seduce them. To be intimate and connect deeper then just a cheap quick fuck. In the end I am just a woman with feelings. I need to take better care of my emotions and feelings. There is no room for that in swingersland. Must create a thicker skin.